[Editor’s Note: one of the perks of Andrea’s job is that drug company reps frequently wine and dine medical professionals at fine eating establishments under the guise of “continuing education.” So this e-mail began with the expressed hope that after work she will be well-taken care of at Churchill’s, one of Spokane’s premier steakhouses.]

Lewis would like to remind you that it is “Give Your Favorite Dog Leftovers from Fancy Steakhouses” Month, and that you should celebrate this appropriately—preferably with red meat.

Then, after a hard day of scarfing dog food, he retires for a well-deserved nap.

—It’s tough being a dog, Lewis tells me, as he flops down on the carpet with a resounding plop.

“Oh really?”

—You have no idea.

For emphasis, he farts in my general direction.