Lewis wags hello and mentions that if you were here he’d surely be allowed outdoors right now immediately so what are you waiting for.

I remind him that you are not as big a sucker for his exit dance as I am and he attempts to deny that until he realizes that by doing so he is, in effect, calling you a bigger sucker, which is not a particularly good tactic to employ with someone who admires you as much as I do.

So, he changes his approach and looks very solemn as he reminds me of the small-yappy-dog threat ever-present next door that must be dealt with severely if we hope to have peace in our time.

I relent, and slide open the back door.

Lewis attempts to tap into his canine bloodlines and access the Coyote/Trickster mode, thereby hoping to score a second feeding.

—I need to go out! . . . Oh, you’re not coming out with me? Then, I need to come in.

—Okay, let’s try this again: I’m going out . . . wait . . .why aren’t you coming with me?

—All right, I need to come in, again.

And so it goes.

I wouldn’t let Lewis put his schnoz into my lap, so he began licking my feet instead. I wonder why he does that? What does the licking signify? Is it a dog’s caress or kiss? Or is there something tasty about human foot? Or maybe the feet need cleaning? Like when chimps groom each other? So, I’m a fellow mammal that needs a bath? Curious.

Lewis has already begun his erratic

—I want to go out, no, I want to stay in, hey, I want to go out, but I think I’ll stay in, c’mon, can’t you see I really want to go out????

behavior.

I know, he just wants attention . . .

Lewis hears something out front, but decides to lie down in response. A valiant animal, to be sure.

Just now, Lewis simply had to exit the house to bark at the neighbor’s yappy rats. I wonder what their barking means to them? Particularly since they do it so regularly. Is it just the dog’s version of: “Hey Fatso!” “Oh yeah?” “Yeah.” “Yipsqueak!” “Lumpy.” “Oh yeah?” “Sez who?” “Sez me.” “Bite me.” “You wish.” Etc. Or is more info passed on? Or is it just a ritual, like patrolling the perimeter? Probably some expert has a hypothesis, but how could we ever really know?