Lewis says that he, too, is ready to do his part to make life easier for She With Whom He Abides.

“And what exactly will you be able to do?”

—I’m an excellent source of affectionate tongue massage.

“Toe-licking?”

—That’s just a small part of my repertoire.

“What is it with the toe-licking, anyway? I mean, do feet taste good, or what?”

—Whether they do or not is not the issue: we know you love it.

“We?”

—The canine community.

“So, the canine community is willing to lick even the nastiest toes simply because you know that humans love having their toes licked?”

—Basically.

“Such a noble sacrifice.”

—Indeed. And it’s become traditional, so . . .

“Oh, so now it’s a cultural thing?”

—Something like that.

“I’m sure she’ll appreciate the attention.”

—Of course she will.