October 20, 2008

—Instead of fussing around with your effete poetry projects, you should be worrying about finishing my bark: your priorities need some adjusting.

“Getting a bit pushy for someone who couldn’t type a word even if the keyboard was made from kibble.”

—A kibble keyboard? That makes no sense at all.

“Exactly. Because you’d simply devour the thing, thereby completely hampering your ability to compose anything.”

—What are you saying?

“That you should be a little less officious and a tad more deferential to the person who is helping bring your voice to the masses. We’re a team, but I don’t recall any one making you the coach.”

Lewis doesn’t respond for a long time, but I can tell he’s struggling with the urge to lord it over me. Finally . . .

—Do they really make keyboards out of kibble?