[After Lewis hears about plans his humans have for the weekend . . .]
—I’ll be happy to help out.
—By providing a compelling example of blissful non-activity.
“Um, I thought you were the ever-vigilant, always-ready, hyper-aware watchdog eternally patrolling the fence to keep the household safe from evil?”
“I don’t see how the two roles are compatible.”
—That’s because you are a mere human being, someone who aspires to dog-hood, but will, sadly, and completely, fail.
“Wait a minute, how did this get to be about me?”
—Silly human, you folks are constantly making it about you.
“I didn’t do anything . . .”
—Exactly, and we dogs must, more often than not, pick up the slack.
—Now if you’ll excuse me, I have some power nap patrolling to do.