[Editor’s Note: The extreme cold weather continues.]

—Yes, it’s cold, but it’s not that big a deal, really.

“Says the dog who gets to stay inside all day.”

—It’s not required. I could survive outdoors, but it is appreciated.

“I was kidding you. No way we’d force you to meet zero degree temperatures with that raggedy fur coat of yours.”

—Raggedy? I have a fine glossy coat, I’ll have you know.

“I was just referring to all the pieces of your fine glossy coat that you leave all over the house.”

—Oh, well glossiness needs to be constantly renewed, you know, refurbished, if you will.

“Understood, but couldn’t you leave all the old pieces outdoors and not on the kitchen floor.”

—I have very little control over such things.

“Obviously. Well, time for me to go. And time for you to start patrolling.”

—What? But . . . what?

“Just kidding.”

—Oh. Of course. So was I.

“Obviously.”