I tell Lewis that my friend Gail has sent me a huge set of dog jokes, one of which characterizes Labs as goofy, eager idiots, and he simply stares at me with as much dignity as he can muster.

Then I tell him that in the same e-mail another old joke is repeated, ergo, that dogs have masters and cats have staff.

Lewis continues staring.

—Next time you open the door for me, I’ll remember that . . . master.

“I sense a wee bit of sarcasm.”

—Sarcasm? Me? I’m just a goofy idiot Lab, remember? Oh, and by the way, master, my water dish is nearly empty . . .