October 31, 2008

[Editor’s Note: In honor of Halloween, The Lewis Letters disrupts its usual chronologically sequential presentation and leaps ahead to recall a Halloween of days gone by. Regularly scheduled programming will resume tomorrow.]

“Okay, Lewis, time to head outside.”

—What? It’s hardly light out.

“Sorry. Things to do, places to go.”

—But . . . but it’s cold out there.

“You have your doghouse.”

—But it hasn’t been properly prepared yet and the heater hasn’t been plugged in.

“I’m sorry, I can’t leave you inside, because I don’t know when I will be returning.”

—But . . . but . . .

“Also, I want to remind you that tonight lots of people might be showing up and we would prefer you don’t bark at them. Some will be very small children who might frighten easily.”

—Well, I don’t know, if I have to spend a lot of time outside, I might be cranky.

“I see, then perhaps we’ll just have to leave you outside until all the trick-or-treating is finished.”

—Now, now, no reason to get hasty . . . say, if I bark “trick or treat” will you give me a biscuit?

“I’ll think about it.”