December 11, 2008

“Looking a little concerned there, aren’t we Muffin Licker?”

—No, and I’m not a Muffin Licker.

“Only because we haven’t had any muffins around here recently.”

—I never am.

“Okay, use a little denial if that will make you feel better. Anyway, as soon as I finish this note, I’m outta here and you’re outta the house.”

—Not again.

“Sorry, but we want to make sure all of your intestinal activity takes place outdoors . . . and don’t pretend there isn’t a lot of activity. If you want to deny muffin-licking, fine, but own up to the three-a-days.”

—I’m just going to lie here and attempt to store up some heat. When are you coming back?

“It’ll be very late: the sun will long be gone.”

—Oh no.

“But’s supposed to snow, so it’s possible we’ll be unable to get back at all.”

—Oh no.

“We’ll do our best, though.”

—An extra biscuit for heat-generating calories? Please?