[Editor’s Note: In which we discuss “Poop Patrol,” i.e., the periodic need to gather Lewis’ excremental offerings.]
“How often to you make a deposit, so to speak? I went out a couple of weeks ago, just a few days after She With Whom You Abide went out and there must have been 3 dozen piles: are a three-or-four-times-a-day dog?”
—You know the old saying: Clean bowels, happy dog.
“I know no such saying: it must be a part of dog lore.”
—Regardless, it is true.
“But I swear more is coming out than goes in. It’s like alchemy or something.”
“Forget it, it would take too long to explain. But face it, you’re basically a crap machine.”
—And you’re a crap gatherer.