—Speaking of alert, have you noticed how alert I am?

“Can’t say that I’ve detected any difference in your snooze rate, no.”

—Ha, ha. Always with the nap jokes. Don’t you ever tire of them? . . . Get it? “tire?” “nap?”

“Uh, yeah. Pun noted.”

—You don’t seem amused.

“Let’s just say your comedian skills don’t rise to the level of your watchdog skills . . . and we both know how hard it is to get you to rise to anything . . . get it?”

—Barely. Let’s just say, using a classic dog aphorism, that you telling me I’m not funny is like a little dog telling me I’m annoying.

“Ow. That’s harsh.”

—If the poop smells . . . as we say . . .