“What’s with the head-shaking, anyway? Are you doing it to get kinks out of your neck or just to make noise to remind folks you exist and are still hungry?”

—The noise is incidental and your fault since you’re responsible for weighing me down with all these medallions of oppression.

“Medallions of oppression?”

—Kind of catchy, don’t you think?

“Kind of overkill, too. You have a pretty cushy life given all your supposed ‘oppression.’”

—Yes, well, symbols of oppression are just as oppressive as actual oppression, in my opinion; they suggest potential oppression which thus oppresses my being with the constant concern of possibly being oppressively oppressed by just-waiting-to-begin-oppressing oppressors such as yourself.

“Lots of almost-oppression almost going on.”

—Indeed.

“How do you ever cope with such burdens?”

—By shaking my head, for one, symbolically shaking off the symbols that rest heavy upon my innocent neck.

“And thereby waking up your potential oppressors from a sound sleep.”

—Symbolic actions can have real consequences.

“I guess you’ve answered my questions.”

—I have and I’d like to remind you that there’s a small fee levied for such matters.

“A small fee?”

—Yes, otherwise what am I to conclude except that you support slavery.

“And let me guess, your fee is a biscuit?”

—Actually, two biscuits, but I’m having a 50% off special today.