—Another day of respite from the frigid life of a tortured companion, thank Dog!

“Give me a break, you’re not a tortured companion—if anything you’re spoiled rotten.”

—I’m not going to argue with you: we’ll just have to agree to disagree.

“Fine, though I guess this means no biscuits for you all day.”

—What?

“Well, you’ve firmly established the tradition that you only get them when we have to bribe you to go out or reward you for coming in after a long, torturous day, and since neither will happen today . . . sorry.”

—That’s not fair.

“As Jimmy Carter once said: Life isn’t fair.”

—Who’s Jimmy Carter?

“Before your time.”

—Come to think of it, maybe there’s time for a quick patrol around the yard . . .

“Nice try, bub, but no dice and no biscuit.”

—I’ll just lie here in front of the heating vent in case you change your mind.