[Editor’s Note: A period of shudder-filled reminiscences of the horrible snow-filled winter of 2008 preceded the following.]

—Agreed: patrolling became literally impossible.

“I remember your valiant efforts to navigate while practically being buried in snow.”

—You did provide some trails for me eventually, but even still . . .

“Yes, it was a bad deal all the way around.”

—Some bacon could help dull the unpleasant memories . . .

“Fake bacon, you mean?”

—Whatever: it’s as yummy as bacon, not that I’d really know since I only get to lick bacon grease and never get the actual bacon.

“And the whining begins anew . . .”