—Aren’t you forgetting something?

“What?”

—Our daily conversation.

“Oh, well you seemed pretty tired this morning so I wasn’t going to disturb you.”

—How many times do I have to explain to you that I’m not tired, I’m simply meditating in a heightened state of vigilance?

“Sorry, it’s hard for me to distinguish your snoozing from your vigilance, particularly when your legs start twitching during dreams.”

—I’m not dreaming . . . I’m . . . working through various scenarios, mentally practicing responses to various threats and situations.

“My apologies if I seemed to be suggesting otherwise.”

—Wait a minute, you’re being awfully nice . . . where’s the usual sarcasm, the crude attempts to ridicule me?

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

—Yes, you do: I’m usually a never-ending source of less-than-flattering characterizations and insinuations.

“A New Year’s resolution to be kinder to my animal friends?”

—Over two weeks late.

“Better late than never?”

—Something suspicious is going on here, and I aim to figure it out.