[Editor’s Note: Lewis hears me use the phrase “and thereby hangs a tale.”]

—Hangs a tail? You don’t have a tail.

“No, tale, as in story.”

—Oh. You know, human language is so confusing: so many words and phrases sound alike: it’s hard to figure out what you people are saying or what you want.

“And every bark is unique, I suppose?”

—Absolutely: pure and austere, each syllable clear, and easy to hear.

“Whether far or near . . . there, I finished your poem for you.”

—Pretty good, huh?

“Not bad, for a dog.”

—You’re just jealous that I’m multilingual and poly-poetic.

“Yeah, you got me, my envy knows no bounds.”

—So, what’s on the agenda today?

“Well, for you, I’m presuming a lot of heavy napping.”

—Again with the nap jokes . . . will they never end?

“Only when the naps cease, I imagine.”

—Fine. Whatever.

“Anyway, for me, more job searching and hoping for phone calls.”

—Good luck. Wake me if you need me.