—I don’t see anything on your agenda that has much to do with dog care.
“How perceptive of you.”
—Isn’t that an oversight that needs to be addressed?
“What did you have in mind, since I don’t know what I can do to help you with your rigorous napping.”
—Ha ha. All sorts of attention could be paid. Did it ever occur to you that my current schedule is the result of being so cruelly ignored? That I sleep out of frustration? That I would prefer a much more active lifestyle?
“Right: which is why you’re so eager to go outdoors.”
—The back yard’s boring: there’s nothing new out there.
“So you want to take more walks?”
—On a leash?
“You can’t seriously expect me to just let you run wild as a cure for your malaise?”
“Get real, dog, you’re hallucinating: might as well go to sleep, then your delusions can be classified as dreams.”
—The burdens of dog-hood are truly endless.