February 4, 2009

[Editor’s Note: Lewis learns that I’ve received good news. I have no memory at all of what that news might have been.]

—I provide good news every day.

“Oh really?”

—Yes, I’m a virtual fountain of good news.

“I wasn’t aware of that.”

—That’s because, like most humans, you’re much too self-absorbed, you don’t pay attention to things outside the very narrow boundaries of yourself.

“I see.”

—No, you don’t.

“Exactly what kind of good news are you talking about?”

—Well, for instance, every morning I get one of those red biscuit bones and then I get a bowl of dry dog food.

“You do seem pretty pleased about that.”

—It’s great: and it happens every day! And then, I drink lots of water from my own private water dish. And then, I can often convince you to scratch my ears. The very best news!

“This sounds like mostly good news for you.”

—Not at all: I spread the joy around, liberally.

“I guess I hadn’t seen it in exactly those terms.”

—Of course you didn’t, I already told you that you don’t pay attention.

“My bad.”